The Book of Songs
26-44
The Songs of
Bey
Yakov Rabinovich
26
It drifts along, this cedar boat, drifts as the current carries it;
I'm still awake, still can't sleep, keeping my secret anxiety.
(There's no secret here: they're taking me to a man and a marriage I hate.)
Poor me, there is no wine could make this feel like an idle pleasure trip.
My heart is not a mirror, to swallow in silence whatever it's forced to see;
I've several brothers, but I can't count on their help here;
I come to talk, go to complain, and they --- they just get angry at me.
My heart's not a rock on the path you could simply roll out of the way,
my heart's not a mat you can just fold up to set aside.
My station and my dignity? Gradually, by degrees
things have worsened, infinitely.
My anxious heart is grieved, is grieved,
and the rabble herd hate me for my pride;
already I've met with much suffering, taken insults, and taunts.
Calm, rational words I tell myself while my heart pounds, pounds.
The sun recurs, ever unchanging. O moon, why do you go
shrinking down to a sliver, counting down days to the day I dread.
Anxiety's penetrated my heart, a stain that nothing can wash away.
Calm, rational words I repeat to myself and I know I can't flee, fly away.
27
My green robe, green, all lined in yellow ---
how my heart aches at leaving you,
O when will this pain be done?
My green robe, green with a yellow skirt ---
how my heart hurts at leaving you,
when O when will this end?
Green and silken are my robes you wove.
I must think on the great men of olden times,
try to be blameless and brave as they.
No cloth, be it fine or coarse,
woven by strange or beloved hands
could keep the cold from a wound like this ---
I must think of the men of ancient days,
thus I might control my heart.
28
All the swallows go a-flying, wing their way towards the pool.
A lady goes to her new husband's home,
I escort her far across wild, open country;
finally I halt, look up, gaze after
till I see her no more.
My tears fall like raindrops.
All the swallows go a-flying, soaring off and swooping down.
A lady goes to her new husband's home,
I ride with her far along her way;
at last I stand, looking up, gazing after,
till I see her no more. Long and long
I wait there weeping.
All the swallows go a-flying, singing shrill and warbling low.
A lady goes to her new husband's home,
I escort her a long way southwards,
then I stop, look up after her
until I see her no more.
Heart's hurt's real.
Jong Ren, lady peerless and unique,
of an unguessed depth of spirit!
so very warm, so very kind, pure and modest, ever correct ---
it's only by trying to be like the noble lords of old
that I, poor paltry man of today, can seem brave now.
29
The sun recurs, each day the same,
the changing moon marks off the dates,
staring brightly down on us
as they pass shining by.
Is this the man he's proved to be?
Now he no longer treats me well.
How can we have the wedding as agreed?
I wish he'd never noticed me!
The sun renews, each day the same,
the changing moon marks off the dates,
earthward stream their beams.
Is this the man he's proved to be?
Alas, my love is not returned.
How can we have the wedding as agreed?
I wish he'd never
pretended to care for me!
The changing moon marks off the dates,
sure from the east the sun brings day.
Is this the man he's proved to be?
His character, his reputation,
all worthless, all a lie.
How can we have the wedding as agreed?
Those plans were only formed to be forgot!
The changing moon marks off the dates,
sure from the east the sun brings day,
O my father, O my mother,
you can't support me forever.
But how can we have this wedding as agreed?
The man just won't make good his pledge,
he won't do right by me!
30
It's come, the wind and storm.
The lady looks back at me and laughs,
teasing, she walks away from me
cruelly amused ---
grieving me to heart's core.
It's come, the wind and fog.
She kindly agreed to meet me.
She never arrived, never even set out.
Long and long I've pondered this.
It's come, the wind and darkness.
There's no more sun, there's no more light ---
I lie awake, unable to sleep.
I want her so badly I weep.
The cloud covered night is darker than dark,
abrupt thunder startles.
I lie awake, unable to sleep.
I long for her, yes, I love her still.
31
How loud they beat the drums!
We soldiers brandish our weapons,
leap and practice our lunges.
We build up earth works, dig trenches,
fortify the city Tsao.
We march off southwards with the troops,
I'm lonely among a great mass of men.
We follow San Zih Jong
to pacify the lands of Chen and Song.
When San goes home, will we be left
here to guard the frontier?
That's the worry of my harried heart.
My wife will wonder, "Did he settle down
to live there instead? Has he lost the horse
that should have carried him back?
Is he searching for it, perhaps gotten lost
in some forest depth?"
She'll think, "We took our vows for life,
till death, but now we're so far apart,
my good man and I.
We spoke the wedding oath,
clasped hands. We'd grow old together.
"Ay, I'm left sighing, so far away,
I don't know what keeps me living anymore.
Ay, I'm sighing and crying, O,
maybe he's no longer true to me."
32
Spring. Triumphant blows the wind
from the south, through the midst of the jujube trees.
The jujube grove is lovely indeed
but our mother must work, exhausted as she is.
Summer. Triumphant blows the wind
from the south, through the grove, rattling branches
dry and fit for kindling.
Our mother's wise, our mother's good,
but we have no man to run the household.
Winter. Cold flows the spring
at Jun hill's base. There's seven of us,
sons, but all still children,
our mother works hard, she's bitter.
Another summer and lovely indeed
is the yellow bird's song,
its voice carries melody well.
There's seven of us, sons, but all still children,
and still there's no man to comfort
our mother's heart.
33
The male pheasant goes a-flying,
slow and slow he flaps his wings.
I walk, sick with longing.
All this trouble, I've brought it on myself.
The male pheasant goes a-flying,
his mating call, heard on high, re-echoes here below.
It's all become clear as a scroll unrolled:
good sir, you've truly hurt my heart.
I've gazed up at suns and moons as they passed
overhead. Long and long I've worried and thought..
He said he can't come, the way's too long,
how could he really return to me?
O all you gallant gentlemen,
you wouldn't know what right thing was.
I wasn't obstinate, I didn't cling,
what did I ever do that was wrong?
34
Early spring. Now the bitter gourd
puts forth its sharp-tasting leaves.
The water crossing's too deep to ford,
the current cruelly strong.
When it was shallow,
you could lift your skirts and cross it.
The river is wide, it's reached its full,
you hear birds now, the pheasant's cry.
The waters rise almost axle-high,
you hear the pheasant's call,
she's looking for a mate.
The river widens here to a lake,
a rippling city of birds.
The wild goose calls at dawn's first gleam﹐
day begins. If a gentleman means
to bring home a bride, he sets out before
the ice has all turned to pools.
People hail the boatman, wave and shout,
take his ferry across --- not me.
They take the passage. Me, I stay
and wait and wait for my friend.
35
Again and again blows the wind from the valley
bringing with it cold and rain.
I worked so hard to be who you wanted,
it wasn't enough. You loathe me now.
A fool once gathered radishes and turnips,
took the top leaves, left the edible roots.
I never failed to live up to my good, blameless name;
I'd have followed you, loyal, till death.
Slow and slow I walk the road,
in my heart of hearts I don't accept it's true.
My own home's near, not far at all,
yet when I had to leave, you escorted me
so little distance on my way.
Who says the lemon's bitter?
To me it seems sweeter than a ripe pear now.
I know what's bitter: seeing you feast
your new bride, glad to have her
as her brothers are to see her go.
The river Jing runs muddy
where it joins the river Wei,
but when its flow slows, it's clear to the depths.
You feast your new bride, and now it's deeply
clear what you thought I was worth.
Don't open my dam to net the fish
I've raised in my full-stocked pool;
don't empty my wicker fish-trap ---
nothing I am or have would interest you.
Now I've lone leisure enough to pity
what my own future will be.
I never balked, whatever the hardship.
When I faced a river flowing deep
I rafted across, boated over;
if I came where the waters were low
I'd swim it, stroke and float my way across ---
Was something to be gained, had something been lost?
I sought and strove to get it.
When anyone at all had suffered
I was never too proud to help them.
But for all that, I couldn't make myself be loved,
he treated me like an enemy.
My time with him has stained my reputation ---
no merchant can sell used goods.
I comforted him when he was afraid,
nurtured him in want, ran to help
at each reverse and shock.
Now he's flourished, made gains
and I'm like poison to him.
I still own much, enough for now
and to steer through winter's want.
Today, he's eager for his bridal feast,
it turns all I have to poverty.
I have my rage, my fury,
I've already gotten plenty to ponder ;
I will not study what's past, what's gone;
what I did for another I can do for myself,
this man, he came to me for help.
36
No use, no use at all, at all.
Why can't we just march home?
If it weren't for our feudal lord
we'd never be out here
in the early cold and dew.
No use, no use at all, at all.
Why can't we just march home?
If we didn't have to guard our lord,
think we'd be here trudging the mud?
37
Grass-cloth plants stand on the hill
waving high as battle-standards now.
How they've extended their jointed stalks!
My uncles, my guardians, many a day
has passed, I've borne their iterating weight,
it's spring already, snows have left our roads.
Why does he stay away? Has he settled
somewhere with someone else?
What takes him so long? There must be a reason,
another woman? I have to go, to know ---
my fox furs are cover enough and to spare
against the journey's cold.
Every passing wagon heads east
to where I'd find him. Uncles, guardians,
an escort could easily be arranged.
The liu-li bird's already hatched
her chicks, tiny things, all beak and tail.
It's spring. Now's the time to seek him out
if he means to marry me. O my uncles,
my guardians, you hold your sleeves
over your ears, won't even listen.
38
Look how relaxed, how nonchalant he stands
though about to begin the dance supreme.
The sun's arrived directly overhead
here the dancer waits, at the front of the stage.
A big man, huge-limbed, tall, performing
the great dance in the duke's courtyard;
strong as a tiger, in control
like a charioteer steering four horses
as if with a single set of reins.
It's finished. See him motionless, grasping a flute
in his right hand, his left holds a fan of pheasant plumes.
He's ruddy from exertion, gleams with sweat,
looks like he's been freshly painted red!
The duke commands he be given a pitcher of wine.
The highlands and the hills have hazel trees,
the lowland marsh bears licorice root.
Shall I tell you what region I'm thinking of?
The west, this handsome dancer's home!
What a splendid figure of a man,
this beautiful visitor from regions west!
39
From Bee the fountain's waters flow
down to the river Chee. My heart
follows its course to the town of Wei.
There's not a day that I don't think
about a certain man there.
How beautiful, these women here at Bei!
I'll talk to them, ask advice, they'll know
how best to make a marriage plan.
They say,
"Go further off to find a husband,
at least a few days' journey down river,
stay overnight at a town en route,
have the farewell banquet and drinking bout
at some city halfway there.
When a woman gets married, she has to leave
father, mother, brothers far behind."
I'm going now to ask advice
of my paternal aunts, pay a call
on uncles and elder sisters.
They say,
"Go further off to find a husband,
at least a few day's journey down river,
stay overnight at a town en route,
have the farewell banquet and drinking bout
at some city halfway there."
They tell me,
"See to it the axles are greased!
You can just as easily make your way
to the city of Yen.
A long trip, but good matches are to be had
once there."
I accept this, but,
were I to now hurry back to Wei
to see one last time the man
I really want to be with,
what would be the harm?
I think of Bei's fountain, abundant waters
flowing forever down towards Wei.
as do my sighs. Sad, I think
of familiar places I have to leave.
Harness the carriage,
set out for Yen! I go, I'm gone,
time enough on this long trip
to find words for my grief.
40
I go out through the city's eastern gate,
many the worries on my mind.
I'm nearly penniless, destitute now.
No one knows how bad things are.
This is how it all ends then,
such must truly be heaven's will.
What more can I say?
The king's business caught up with me,
officially sealed orders,
obligatory service.
This too is given me, added on!
When I come home, my whole family,
the entire clan berates me
for how things have gone.
This is how it all ends then,
such must truly be heaven's will.
What more can I say?
The king will have his feudal due
of ill-paid dangerous work from me.
Government service is added
to all the other troubles
handed over and left to me.
When I come home, my whole family,
the entire clan insists I have to go.
This is how it all ends then,
such must truly be heaven's will.
What more can I say?
41
How cold the north wind is, blowing dense rain and snow.
If he cared for me or loved me,
he'd have taken my hand, taken me with him.
O, what a shallow, evil man! And now it's way too late.
Blustering music of the northern gale, rain and snow, heavy sleet.
If he cared for me or loved me,
he'd have taken my hand, made me his bride.
O, what a shallow, evil man! And now it's way too late.
If it isn't red, it can't be a fox; not black, you know it's no crow.
If he'd loved or cared for me, he'd be holding my hand now
as we rode off together in his carriage.
O, what a shallow, evil man! And now it's way too late.
42
The loveliness of that nonchalant girl!
for her I wait at the town wall's corner.
I love, but I don't see her.
I scratch my head. Should I stay here
waiting? Can't decide.
The beauty of that nonchalant girl!
She gave me a red reed pipe.
I can make it breathe a song of passion's fire
to please and delight the lovely girl.
This tuneful tube, once reed, was plucked
by a shepherd. He trimmed and pierced it.
A handsome, distinctive piece of work!
But it wasn't you, shepherd,
who made it truly beautiful,
but the lovely girl whose gift it is.
43
The new tower gleams by the river flowing full.
A pleasing, graceful girl went courting,
got a man
common as a cheap bamboo doormat.
The new tower sparkles, the river waters invit.
A pleasing, graceful girl went courting,
got a vulgar man
who'll never be anything but.
It's a fish trap that she set up
here in this picturesque place,
no wonder then she caught
no wild swan. A pleasing graceful girl
went courting, got this man,
and everyone's pity.
44
Two gentlemen ride along in a boat
floating through shifting scenes.
Each desires, thinks only of the other.
Their inmost hearts are feasting deep.
Two gentlemen ride along in a boat,
floating along till they're lost to view.
Each desires, thinks only of the other.
Their love is blameless, without flaw.